To Try and Lose Again

Some of us are familiar with the saying, ‘Try and try until you succeed’. This sounds reasonable enough, especially, when we believe another anecdote that cites, ‘God helps those who help themselves’. But, suppose there are things not really meant for us? Should we go on trying or, should we give up?

The poem ‘To Try and Lose Again’ written by Phoenix Montoya (me), is a five stanza poem with an alternating rhyme sequence.

‘To Try and Lose Again’ is a life poem, inspired by disappointments, trials and daily struggles as the author questions man’s real status on Earth.

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Man as said, makes his own destiny. Whatever happens to him, it is his own doing and his own choice. However, the Bible reveals that man’s fate is already written. The passage in Ephesians 2:8-9 tells this, ‘For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is a gift of God, not results of works, so that no one may boast’.

So, this means: It is always God’s decision. Whatever man does, IF what he wants IS NOT intended for him, he will always fail. Surely, man can always make his own destiny but everything will still fall on God’s wishes.

Fortunately, God’s intention is always for the well being of man. God as the Father knows what’s best for His children. Man learns His ways through disappointment. And as a child of God, man tends to understand that he is not for the Earth.

Read my poem here

No More Beauty Just the Beast

‘No More Beauty Just the Beast’ is a six stanza poem. It consists of four lines in each stanza with different meters and rhyming sequence.

The first and fourth stanzas have succeeding rhyming order - the first with the second line and the third with the fourth line. Lines one and three in the first and fourth stanzas have six syllables; lines two and four have seven.

The second and fifth stanzas have the same meter patterns as the first and fourth stanzas. However, the rhyming sequence is in an alternating order - the first with the third line and the second to the fourth line.

Finally, the third and the last stanzas consist of seven syllables with alternating rhyme series.

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The fairy tale Beauty and the Beast may have something to do with the title of the poem, ‘No More Beauty Just the Beast’ and indeed there is. In the fairy tale, the lady – Beauty, reflects herself by her very name as a kind, caring and as a lovely maiden from inside and out. The prince or Beast on the other hand, is exposed as a literal monster. Fortunately, as most people know the ending of the tale, Beast broke his own curse by falling in love with Beauty.

The characters in the story weren’t the inspiration of the author (me) though. It was actually the thought of a mortal man without beauty. As beauty can be represented by kindness and beast as evilness, what can drive a person to lose beauty?

Plato, a Greek philosopher has quoted that, ‘To prefer evil to good is not in human nature; and when a man is compelled to choose one of two evils, no one will choose the greater when he might have the less.’

Man by nature is good. However, man also possess some evil within him. Man survives along with his group because of his wise choice and his will power to hold off the wickedness within him. As Plato has cited, man chooses evil if he is only driven to.

‘No More Beauty Just the Beast’ is simply expressing that every person – no matter how nice he is has certain limitations. No more beauty just the beast is just another phrase for ‘no more mister nice guy!’

Read the poem here

To Heed an Angel’s Call

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Angels are great inspirations for most writers, particularly for poets. An angel can be interpreted differently. While an angel is usually referred to as a creature from heaven, with a beautiful face and with a pair of cottony, white wings; an angel can also be pertained to a being from hell. In the poem of yours truly, the angel is someone of a pleading type. I believe she is someone with a good heart, yet a really broken one.

‘To Heed an Angel’s Call’ by Phoenix Montoya (that’s me!) is a five stanza poem with four lines. The poem has seven syllables, with the last words rhyming within the two consecutive lines - line one with two and line three with four.

‘To Heed an Angel’s Call’ is a common poem type that makes use of metaphors. The poem tells about the pain of a guardian angel. In the poem, this angel is pleading to her human. She is about to perish as the person with whom she is caring for has chosen the path of darkness.

The poem ‘To Heed an Angel’s Call’ can be categorized as a life and love poem. It shows human nature in his decision to do right or wrong; the misery within his heart; and more importantly, guilt - as all men possess love and kindness within them.

A whisper from within is a calling of the conscience. And as mortals, it is our decision to listen.

Read more here

Immured

Immurement is a way of execution where the accused or the victim is imprisoned within a building wall.  Such a horrible fate to die a slow death - alone, hungry and thirsty; not to mention frightened of the dark and of much hungrier rats around your feet,  while you remain helpless... as your sanity slips away and you pray that it all ends sooner.

WHOA!

My poem Immured was inspired once again by my favorite macabre master Edgar Allan Poe in his short story The Cask of Amontillado. Sadly, this was another naughty write as I had envisioned an awful fate of a noble woman.

My poem Immured - A tomb within walls.

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Beautiful May

In my place, the month of May is known as the 'month of flowers'. When I was a kid, we usually offer flowers to Santa Elena, then we go up to our town's version of kalbaryo to hear the mass in honor of her.

However, my poem Beautiful May does not say much about her. It tells about fruits, beaches and about fiestas - all things dear to my heart. Santa Elena is a great thing though, I just forgot to mention about her, same reason I tend to forget May 3 as another family tradition in recognition of her. Now, that's really bad of me.

Anyway, the month of May also holds birthdays of my beloved - four of them. And of course, a birthday of a best friend.

Now, some questions. Do you have a best friend? If you do, who? Is he or she a sister, a brother, a cousin, a parent or a sweetheart? Another thing, who can be that person with whom  you can rely next to God?

My poem Beautiful May, never shall I forget the 24th of the month.

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Pendulum

 ‘A blade horror.’

This poem is a naughty write. Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe, for a contest at Hellopoetry, my poem Pendulum is a frightening fate which ended in a merciful way.

Like I said, ‘a naughty write’ because the thought of letting someone suffer or die is an evil act for me, even for the sake of creative writing.

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Derek

Every novelist, even an ex-wannabe novelist like me has a first love. For me it was Derek, a Moerian warrior king, protector of the weak and a charming lover. Unfortunately, he wasn’t for me. Derek was for my heroine creation, princess Alecsandra of Moeris.

My poem Derek, with my own definition of a perfect male, a character developed in my debut adventure-romantic novel ‘Moeris’. There had been others of course, romantic male characters – names like Henry, Vincent, Russell, Leonard, Gabriel, Maximilian etc.

But, first love never dies.

My poem Derek, enjoy.

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Breathe

Even for the tough of the toughest, escape is beneficial. It seems cowardice but for the sake of survival, it is sometimes being wise. What can be more important than keeping one self intact? 

My poem, Breathe as breathing is an essential for the living.

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Risking It All

Typically, most males do not bring umbrellas. When it rains, they just walk or run for it. Back in my college years, not so long ago, my friend Mai and I regard ourselves as men for we were lazy to take umbrellas for school, except for typhoon seasons. 

But no… We do not walk or run through the rain. My friend and I ran before a rain hits, as a game.

‘Lets chance it!’ we would say, then me and my friend would just go for it - laughing and not minding if we get wet in our white uniforms or end up sick in bed the next day.

My poem Risking It All. May the rain be the least of our troubles.

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Stargazers

Having friends from across the globe, I have imagined the feel to look at the sky on their side of the world. But, most likely it’s just the same, only with the dissimilar air or breeze and with the different perspective. 

Do we wish upon the same star?

Do we look at the same sky?

Do we marvel the same beauty above us?

Probably yes, because regardless of where we are, we are all human beings who hope for all the best things in life. My poem Stargazers, enjoy!

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Your Angel

When I was a kid, I have understood angels as protectors and friends of small children. I've read in story books that an angel weeps whenever a child assigned to him commits a naughty act.

Angels from heaven are known for their good deeds, but as a true friend, we may wonder if there is such an angel who can also do bad things for a friend?

My poem Your Angel was inspired by a dark angel of mine.

Sonnet 074

Why do people die?

My pain, my sarcasm.

Once my life was perfect,

now it’s a complete wreck.

'Letting go is always the hardest'. Especially, with people whom we dearly love. My poem Sonnet 074 was written in memory of my parents who both died in the year 2009. The number 74 signifies the year of their wedding day. 

Loving them always and remembering their teachings regarding life.

Waiting for Your Kiss

The title is not what it seems. But here's my point, do you consider yourself as a child who only comes home to your Father when you need Him - when bruised and hurt? And then, when everything becomes clear, you set off and leave Him. 

I think, I am still that child.

My poem Waiting for Your Kiss. As I consider 'kiss' for affection and love.

Could Have Been

Could've been so beautiful
Could've been so right
Could've been my lover
Every day of my life
Could've been so beautiful
Could've been so right

'Don't cry over spilled milk,' as they say it. What's done can never be undone. We'll just have to accept the fact even it hurts a lot knowing we could have done something.

My poem Could Have Been was inspired by the song  Could've Been by Tiffany. This song on the other hand was inspired by an unromantic experience of mine.

 My poem Could Have Been. Sometimes its better not to think thoroughly and just act.

Pleasant Walk

 My husband and I are always together. But, we don’t usually have time to go out on our own. It has always been work and children for us. We would spend more time with our kids yet, not enough time for one another.

Until that evening, it was suppose to be a boring PTA party. Happily, it turned out to be an unforgettable night.

It was so good to hold his hand again.

My poem, Pleasant Walk. Stay in love with your sweethearts.

White Lies

A white lie seems to be harmless for we usually do this to make someone feel better. It is an act of doing something good for the others. But does it really?

We may consider real lying is the nasty one because of it being selfish; on the contrary, white lies can be more devastating. A white lie is like a fake mirror that let someone sees only the pleasing things. 

 Fake mirrors like the real ones can also shatter. And with this, beautiful images are instantly crushed with the liar to blame. The truth can be ugly but it is something to face. It can be hurtful but sooner or later they will have to accept it.

My poem ‘White Lies’. Have an awesome time my friend.

Starting Fresh

To forgive and forget is probably the best thing to renew a relationship. It’s easy said than done. A good relationship is like a clear glass. It may not break when dropped but it can have noticeable flaws- some signs that great friendship will never be the same again. However, if this glass is recycled, the seen imperfections can disappear. It’s like forgetting an old friend literally. Seeing him and asking his name for the first time again. 

Sounds unreal?

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Fortunately, there are individuals who can forget faces and I find that an advantage to begin a connection once more.

My poem Starting Fresh- To forgive and forget, literally.

Tell Him

It is very painful when you share the heart of a sweetheart with another, but then again it is also sad to love someone when you are not allowed anymore.

Individuals who engage in unlawful relationships are foolish. They usually say it’s the real thing thus they make everything worse for everyone. However, there are cases of mistaken commitments- that pledge of love to the wrong person. And it’s so unfortunate that this becomes even more frustrating when he or she finds the right one. There can be complications that would involve innocent hearts.

But, for a person who truly loves, he or she always inclines to do the right thing. 

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My poem Tell Him was inspired by two things actually- my unpublished novel ‘Ang Diwata Sa Mariposa Falls’ (The Fairy at Moth Falls) and the duet piece of Celine Dion with Barbara Streisand’s Tell Him.

I Am Yours

Soul mate, love of the lifetime, true love…. I guess everybody; the single ones in particular are always in search for these. Love is always beautiful. It is something we give freely that needs nothing in return. Love is something we want to keep that we strive hard just to have it blooming.

In fairy tales, love stories always end up, ‘And they lived happily ever after’.

But being in love isn’t always being happy. It has its difficulties and problems- that’s real life. The bottom line is, when we love someone, we must take him or her entirely. We must relish the positive points and embrace the ugliness of our true love.

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My poem I Am Yours was inspired by every couple in love and my best friend, Geo.

Beautiful Girl

My daughter was a cry baby. Two years ago, she was being picked by a boy. I told her to report this bully to her teacher. Unfortunately, my daughter’s teacher had many problems on her own, she couldn’t help my child.

As a parent, I wanted to stop this abuse. I didn’t want to hear my daughter crying or complaining again. Intervening was not my style, so I advised my daughter to fight back. That was probably the darkest instruction from a parent. Most moms didn’t approve with me. But what am I supposed to do? If someone from school could not help my child, who will?

I reminded myself that I cannot protect my kids forever. I told my daughter to give this bully a punch and she did. This boy didn’t bother her again.

I wrote my poem Beautiful Girl for my daughter Alec- my sweet, thoughtful, caring and sometimes rebellious 9 year old girl. Someday I will lose her to someone and the thought can be scary. Fortunately, like her other siblings, I can still enjoy her today. Kids are the greatest!